i went to see another gig on monday night by myself. I almost considered not going because of the stress and huge amount of emotions that are created from these events! i went though, as i think i would of been worse off if i didnt.
It was amazing and i was in the front row, i was sad, angry and happy all so much i thought. I didn't want it to end but i also did so i could go home and relax and rest my back. When itwas over i wanted to go back though and i never wanted it to end. Theres a certain magic that comes with that feeling of finally seeing something in person that you've loved and has helped you get through so many years of a bit of nothing of everyday. I want to be back there now, but im not so i want to travel back there and travel over seas. The everyday now seems awful and pointless to the wonderful excitement i felt when seeing this band. Its the depression that comes after an amazing feeling of love for something thats gone away. Awful and scary it really still hasn't gone away. I want to be more now, and to be seen and maybe heard. Everything i say seems pointless and really not riverting though. It'd be nice to be heard and people to care and maybe people to empathise.
i only really beleive in love because of my parents.