leaving/running away

i often think how wonderful it would be to throw everything out except your most favorite items and run away as fast as possble. Pack a small suitcase and take your favorite coat and get on the next plane out of the country. Australia is such a bubble and where so very far away from everyone and everywhere. I think of leaving everyday, i left launceston i can leave Australia and never look back.

falling in love with strangers

i live in a large city, not as beautiful as the european ones but it still gives me ltos of room to hide and watch passers by. I think i always tend to stare at people though and hope to somehow catch a glimpse of their fac or a smile, id like to let them know that their not alone and that a smile can help get you through that rather odd day that hasn't really dot much excitement and is really not that terribly great.
i hate facebook, i want to talk to people in person, but it's too hard.

high school dreams

constantly i keep having these odd dreams about being back in school,
it starts with me having a shower that takes about an hour, then changing into my unifrom which takes another hour, then i leave in an odd state of terror that i never had before.
Itwas an awful place for me so i wonder why i keep wanting to go back, maybe so i could possibly improve it. It's not something thats uncommon though, so i shouldnt really winge.
Im just glad to be away from there at the moment, and i ca go there in dreams if i really want to.

post bright eyes

i went to see another gig on monday night by myself. I almost considered not going because of the stress and huge amount of emotions that are created from these events! i went though, as i think i would of been worse off if i didnt.
It was amazing and i was in the front row, i was sad, angry and happy all so much i thought. I didn't want it to end but i also did so i could go home and relax and rest my back. When itwas over i wanted to go back though and i never wanted it to end. Theres a certain magic that comes with that feeling of finally seeing something in person that you've loved and has helped you get through so many years of a bit of nothing of everyday. I want to be back there now, but im not so i want to travel back there and travel over seas. The everyday now seems awful and pointless to the wonderful excitement i felt when seeing this band. Its the depression that comes after an amazing feeling of love for something thats gone away. Awful and scary it really still hasn't gone away. I want to be more now, and to be seen and maybe heard. Everything i say seems pointless and really not riverting though. It'd be nice to be heard and people to care and maybe people to empathise.
i only really beleive in love because of my parents.

crafting around

New artworks!

Ive been dabbeling in all things art of late and here are some of the bits and pieces ive created!
more in my page of art works for 2011!

A lover i dont have to love

We speak, we eat, we atempt to be deep and all that jazz. Ive been at home alot lately. I finished uni the other day and have been a little ill ever since. So ive decided to rest as much as possible in hope that i shall be completely well by the time i begin my new job as santas helper at christmas time. Im also a little down because my cats are missing, they broke out of the catery and are venutring around the bush near the house where i grew up. Being in sydney away from this house helps me to distract myself from the situaton thought. Im a little hurt and sad, friends help and silly old english tv shows too.

slepted in again

Waking up late makes my head go all fuzzy, i over think things and eat too much. I tried going for a walk to the beach, but got cold and left on a bus back home. I then had lunch and did more homework, too much homework. MY way of doing homework envolvs putting a tv series on and doing it on my laptop on the loungeroom floor. IM not terribly exciting but i dont like to be ignored. I can now smell smoke and makes me want to go outdoors. TOmorrow i will get up at 8 and do yoga to make the day start properly again perhaps.

11:53pm

Hello all!
im still awake yes as i over slepted thismorning, because my bed is just far too comortable. I want to laze around and play on my computer. There is little left to do on it thought, facebooks getting old and rather silly. I don't feel like watching constant tv series on my laptop. I would like a hug from my dad tho and my mum. Id like to be at home and be tucked in and read to with a cup of tea braught to me also. Im not going home for awhile, and i know i may be scared and worried about going back. Im flying back on christmas day, just to add some drama to my life. I want to bake i want to sew. Ive been embroidering all afternoon. I think i want to jump in the sea again. Perhaps i'll go and see my neighbour sam.

Im a blog

the blogger that i am, is a terrible one. I cannot write or spell or even put a ncie picture of an indie hip looking kid wearing ray bans up. I like fish, i think i want one so i can watch it blob around. Their kinda cool how safe they look and content with their short memory span. It might be nice often to have a short memory. We can then be able to forget the crappy stuff that happens far too often these days.

last class

i just want to get high, eat pizza and ly on the floor all day with my best friend.

A time to be creative

I have so much to do, my work is piling up. It isnt work though, its what i enjoy. Im a little lost and confused and well i need new inspiration. help

Class

In class now, it's been awhile since ive written. Im being very productive even though it may not seem like it. Im having a good day so far, even thought im at uni. Im feeling very good and content for once, as the last few days have been odd. Ive had amazing visiters and such fun times! ive slepted so much though and dreampt alot of dreams. I have so much ahead of me, but i don't know where to begin. I live aroun such amazing people but im afraid all the time still.
Summer is coming, which i was looking forward too. But it shall be too hot and i shall be uncomfortable. I wish it would snow this one time in Australia. I will go home tho to the small town and see my family and eat alot of food and drink alot of drink.

change

things have dramaticly changed of late. Ive only just realised to be honest. Im in a rut with m love of music, the bands i used to love are constantly diapointing me and it makes me down. i need to stay home for a week and be a hermit, listen to as many albums as possible a day and talk little to the people around me. I did some painting today. I was so happy and proud before, but now i don feel so great. I want to feel content with things, but there are just so many options out there. Im scared, worried and terrified.

I read and interview, well half an interview with paul jennings today. I want my atention span back. I have none every since i turned 18.

A little town made of lace

I did this!

A kind of post

Im dreaming about things lately when im not asleep, I have alot of time to think. I want to live in a forest with trees and animals and maybe a friend who likes me. Movies are good they show where i might want to be. Im a terrible writer but i wish  i had an easier way of showing how much love i have to give. I want to fall asleep on a cloud thats made of stuffing, not the turkey kind. I want to learn but have enough attention to hear all the words. So many words, im glad my friends are patient with me, thank you.

A web

There all real you know

Fairies, elves, fish, penguins, goblins, and other fairytale type creatures are real. They hide because they are small and scared of our big feet. So they often hide when we are around or making loud noises, they dont like much noise as they are such petite creatures and like to be able to hear themselves think and their tiny footstepts run across your carpet late at nite.

Vegan nachos!

A cup of tea to make a day better

Hot

Today the wether it's never felt like this before! not for awhile anyway. But this heat makes me melt yet happy and like i can do anything becase i shall never have the fear of freezing to death. And melting seems like a better way to go anyway.
I love this wether today altho i usually hate it! seeing my legs for the first time in months was something of a horror film. But won't be long til its winter again and where all coplaining about how its far too cold.

I miss you all!

A day i loomed

Ive been weeving for uni for the past, well month or so. It's been tough but fun, but im still unsure if  really ever want to do this again. Itwas slightly frustrating yet satisfying when finished. It's such a traditional and old fashion technique that id like to know more about perhaps someday in another life.

Money troubles

Money is just one of those things, it only worries you when it's particully low. This has been happening to me for awhile of late my bank acount decreasing day to day, and being rather unsure how to get it back up to speed again. Im selling stuff on ebay, applying for an awful lot of jobs, including one as santas little helper at christmas time, which i acutally badly want! hopefully i shall get some calls soon but until thenmy anxiety is on the rise! and wether or not i should atempt to get my old job back is tempting me more and more everyday. But i wish i could live from my work, my art and be happy, times are tough and i don't want to end up being poor at 40, i should learn to save and hide money under my bed like our older generation did. They really were the clever ones really. We really should listen to them more.

Descision time

Im unsure and often confused. I know what i want to do! but i don't know what to do next to get there. Im happy but running out of money everyday and every little minute! i keep buying clothes and things i don't need. Please give me money advice and perhaps somekind of strategy to feel more clear in the head about things. I write lists, soooo many lists, they help yet often tire me and i wantto go to bed.
I would like to do what i love for work, i see that it can happen but where to start.

Love Lace

Today i got up and decided to check out an exhibition ive been meaing to for awhile. Itwas called Love Lace and was all about deconstructing lace in all kinds of different ways.  I walked in unsure of what to expect, was a little flustered with my note book and pen. Then atempting to take a photos dropped my camera which never recovered sadly. But i kept strolling on throught the darkly lit exhibition to find these wonderfully delicate art works made from lace by hand. I can describe how perfect and mystical this exhition was, i wanted to stay there all day and just look and feel all the amazing works. I think i may go back and sit there for awhile maybe watch the passers at the exhibit pass me by wondering if i'll ever leave.
I shall say no and sleep in the lace forest that was made.

theres a sweet saddness out there

the thought that im all fluff and puppy dog eyes is often a pleasent one. Awhile ago i decided id change and be myself again, i was instantly better off. I think too much about these things and they can often be rather lonely and scary. But it happens that the people who you pass by everyday are the ones that see you for who you are your sweetness and well mannered ways. i talk about food alot, this is because it often makes me happier than goiing to a rocking party or seeing a live concert. Sleep never steps on your feet or vomits on you when your casually talking to a friend. Sweet saddness is what i like to think is there and hiding behind a really rotten but pleasent picture of a chicken with a balloon.

Big big week

im sitting down now relaxing and watching telly. I ate my weight in chips and cant wait to fall asleep.
This past week has really shown me how wonderful people can be and how luky i am.
I still want a cat tho and think then i may be complete.

21st Birthday Weekend

Another year passes, more wight gained on that simple one day that you eat more cake than your worth. People smile, people laugh and give you big shouts! and many many hugs!

Im not that lazy new things are coming

It's been a rather big few weeks for me! ive been sleeping, eating, drinking, talking, laughing, smiling an an awful lot of other cheezy things that envolve not doing much workor putting much effort into anything, unless that includes vegan baking. It's been my b'day and im now 21, getting old, unsure if this is really good or not, as i want to go back to being ten. Things were very much simpler back then and cake was all we wanted for our b'days. Now we want parties, presents and as much love as we can get. I can't say i don't want these things but i wish i wasn't so very depserate for them on this oneday a year.
I think we need to look back on our lives and maybe share a smile and a laugh with good friends and our famlies. B'days are special but often the sparkles and showiness of them is often un necesary and we must look at the simple pleasures in life. I was happy just to get to try vegan cheese cake for the first time on my b'day this year (: (: (:

Big exciting weekend ahead

This weekend sees to be busy but jolly, with lots of guests and food and hopefully wine if this damn flu shall go away! i think i shall drink anyway im a silly person just like bear. But i love the sunshine thats been coming and damn it if im not going to celebrate another year of me attempting to grow up.


Love ALice!

Another day of rest

Being sick these past few weeks has been rather horrid so i decided fine! im going to stay in bed for a few days and do absaltley nothing until im well enough to go out. Watched alot of tv shows today, some of them better than others. i had a few icy poles and a little bit of toast! when im well im going to bake and have friends over every nite for wine and jenga and an awful lot of talking.

A day for pie

Ive been wanting to make a pumpkin pie for ages! and i finally did! its vegan nd yummy and was eating in less than 2 days (: my mum also visited me this week to look after me whilst i was at my sickest! but all good now resting up today with gilmore girls and alot of hot tea and sleep (: (: (:

A real protest rally day

Last sunday i went to a rally against the live export trade to indonesia from Australia. It is an absalutely awful thing thats happening that we all ened to stop. Im a proud vegan and this issue upsets me so very much! these are some of the photos i took of the day. It was a wonderful mix of people with  carrying all the same passion (:

The repetition of textiles

My hands hurt my arms ache ive never knitted so much in my life! so i thought you should all see what ive been doing for a month or so and how i had a break and why it was so very nesecary to have.
They all also have their own about me, each and everyone one od them.

Things are better

Things seem good, busy but good. I don't really even have time to write this and it's hurting my fingers to type. Ive been knitting furiously for my textiles class, i have to come up with 40 samples of different kinds of ways to use knitting. It's been much harder than i thought but im on the home stretch and feeling better about things.
I also cleaned and rearanged my room today, im not good with change so im unsure if i shall sleep easy tonite. But it needed to happend and now i have more space to work and be as creative as possible.
Things are better, but i really should stop watching this silly tv in front of me.

An advenure through a graveyard, aswel as a picnic and a few other shenanagins