Sunday, 29 January 2012

Help me if you can, im feeling down

Another day of nothing, another day i can't seem to pick up a pen. I have all this time and nothing to do, im qutie down at the moment but trying to distract myself by writing and trying to get all my frustration out of my head. I even baked a loaf of bread today to distract myself! it worked rather well, even though itis a little sweet. Im trying so very hard to think of a way to make the most of all this time but i need work i need money i need a way of feeling happier and less sad and down in the dumps. I can't stop cleaning and looking out the windows. I shall be obese by june with all the baking i've been doing. I cannot get inspired, but i want change. Im getting more cynical about things and the people around me. I went for a walk today and got angry and wanted to shout abuse at every second person for just being them. IM ranting and this is a boring blog entry but you should know im here and slightly half awake in one way or another.

Saturday, 28 January 2012

Need a day with normal sleep

I'm a bit blank, a bit meh and well i just want to eat and sleep. I haven't had a normal day in awhile. Most days im hungover, msot days ive bin waking up at 12. Im going to try n stay in tonite even know its a saturday nite. Im worried and i hate writing at the moment, i tried to draw but little happened. I think i need a break a break where im less sleepy, ad much more active!!!!

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

This maddness cant last for long

Well still wollowing quite alot and selfishly typing up blog updates constantly about myself. I went for a large walk though today, the park is quite beautiful, it makes me forget things and love simple things, bireds, abbs, legs, feathers, green grass, happy faces. I love going on these walks, as out of place as i feel when im on them, they help and make me feel better. I need something new to start i feel, and i need to stop drinking on weeknights when it's quiet. The quiet is nice thought and peaceful, i hate the roudyiness that is the weekend. I have to go now though as nigella is on.

Friday, 20 January 2012

Another day back in Sydney

Im back and releived yet terrified with this whole nothing to do. It's a little odd and slightly unsetteling, espeically in the pit of my stomache. Ive been drinking way too much and sleeping way too much. I need to exercise and get out of the house/flat. I need a job, but no one will take me, except and extra agency who i need to pay to get my photo out there. It's scary and weird but i want more to do. I want to feel tired, real tiredness not the silly fake stuff which happens when you have nothing to do.

Monday, 16 January 2012

Wes anderson

Him and
Jason Swartzman aswell

a little scared

Tomorrow i go back to sydney, im a bit scared. Well im actually terrified im going back for a big change and a new bigger year. I need to so more art, more reading, more cooking, more exercise! more of things that i love and that are better for me than the rest (: (: (:

Friday, 13 January 2012

Drawing again

Ive been drawing most days of late. It makes me feel a little better it does. I often cant stop, but i also cannot stop drawing houses from all over the world. I make the houses look odd though, as im not the greatest of drawers to be honest. I wish i was better so i think i shall practise and hopefully i will improve. I miss uni and enjoying art more so i think i shall do more of it, and try and draw everyday.

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

stop listening to elliot smith

well his amazing and quite wonderful but listening to him constantly only means one thing. You need to cheer up, go and get a hair cut and maybe pick some blueberries. It's easier to stay in though wearing your mothers blue dressing gown with a box of tissues and a very large pot of coffee.

mike mills

things and indian food and terry pratchet

i know i cant spell, so dont be rude, im sure you also suck at things too. Ive been on this small island for too long and i feel its time to leave and keep going. I want my own herb garden and my own constant supply of dresses. I want to be happy without being sad, i want to dream and to maybe live in eastern europe someday.

Monday, 9 January 2012

odd little scribbles

Lavender farm

Im home at the moment in the place where i grew up, im alright here for now. I shall go back soon ive been here for almost a month. I came down for christmas and things changed. This small little Island still has its charm and excitably i got to show my lovely friend juliet one of those charms.

Advice amazment

i thought you should all hear the most lovely advice and love one person good give from my wonderful friend and housemate!

we'll re-do our rooms and go scavenging for old treasures for our home, add more photos and do something different with out hair!... go op-shopping and ebay searching for clothes AND most importantly plan an overseas trip
i think we should spend a good amount of time researching the places we wanna see and work out how much we need to save and get motivated to do it!
lots of travel picture on the fridge to inspire us.... and an unbreakable money jar
we'll go out pebbling (not clubbing) and meet lots of interesting people
and we'll get ready for a very very productive year of uni
host more dinner parties
and cook much more fooood!
hahahaha pebbling?! i meant pubbing
i have to have a shower now... but please know i have plenty of wonderful things planned for when you get home to distract you!
oooh and more pilates... LETS GET HEALTHY
i wanna try vegan... so lets be healthy vegan food nazis... eats lots of veggies and exercise together every second day!
im off
you loads x

Oddly timed

im here and awake. It's been awhile i know but it's time for a new change and a more posotive outlook on like. Ive been watching constant epsisodes of degrassie the next generation, people say it's awful but i absalutely love it! also discovered a new show called bored to death, probbaly the best thing to start my year by watching this show. Makes me laugh makes me feel better, but badly makes me want to live in new york.
Im thinking a new look a new face an maybe a new leg. Im getting on so no more flat shoes, i shall buy heels and wear shirts and try and grow up.